Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”"
I Just Want More Fic Without Having to Write It Myself
I’d die every day for the rest of eternity for you.
"What you do is a tiny, pathetic subset of dancing. I will attempt to turn your robotic routines into poetry, written with the human body. Follow me, or perish, sweater monkeys."
i never hit reblog so fast in my life
all of buffy → badass buffy
↪ "I’m going to kill them all. That ought to distract them."
I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all nights to come.
"i don’t have time to start reading that book" [opens 200k fic]
the guy in front of me walked into a post and i was so busy laughing that i walked into the same post
we’re going for coffee tomorrow morning
apparently you can’t be employed by the CIA if you’ve ever illegally downloaded music
breaking news: in 20 years, the CIA will operate out of the president’s basement, staffed by four old men and six guinea pigs
"we almost dated" is such a weird relationship to have with someone
Plus the sequel “we never got closure”
And then the side adaptation “as a result I have a weird crush that never died”